About every other week I switch from being headstrong on sharing my social sites with all my friends to wary and wanting to hide behind a fake name. A sort of 'forced' like on my page. Or scared for anyone to see anything. Although the blogs are pretty low key and nothing particularly astonishing, the fiction isn't. The fiction can get pretty raunchy, to say the least. 

Starting out on a site like FanFiction was easy, I had a pen name. So no one knew me and I knew zero of them. Therefore, none of my friends could read my work. There was no way, that I knew of, to connect me to that username. 

I know I've blogged about this before, but the internal conflict continues. On one side, I eventually want to be able to publish a book with some sort of following already established. On the other side, what if people that know me venture into the not so PG material. What if someone that wants to hire me ventures into the not so PG material? 

I saw one porn site accepts short stories from writers and wondered if people that submit there use their real name. Is that something they want their family to be able to attach to them? Do they live and build an entire other 'life' with this pen name? Like a superhero, living the life they want but protecting their loved ones from danger, aka shame. One life is exhausting, imagine two.

But then I think, if I'm so hell bent claiming that women shouldn't be ashamed of being sexually active, what am I hiding from? Sure it's not always appropriate to bring these things up. It's not like its something I talk about at work or add to a list of hobbies on a resume. So what if I end up not getting a job because a company finds my blog, judges me based on other interests, and therefore doesn't hire me, did I really want to work there anyway? It's tricky but I shouldn't have to hide my personal life. 

This week I'm currently at "sharing to a personal Facebook, but not invite people to like the page". 

Though that in itself is interesting. I like watching the change in numbers if I share something and at what time. Versus the outgoing nature of Twitter that can reach more people, but generally gets less actual interest. But more on that later...