The entire goal of NaNoWriMo seems insane as it is. Or rather, it seems insane once you get a few days in and grasp how much an average of 1600 words a day is. This year, probably like every year since 2014, I swore this was my year. This was the year I would hit 50k in 30 days. 

Then the virus hit. 

Not only did the virus wear us the fuck out, but my migraines relished the congestion and lack of coffee. Needless to say, my word count failed to surge on those days. So now, I'm not only behind, as I had been since day 1, but very behind. Do I throw in the towel now and admit defeat for year number four?

NaNoWriMo is a wonderfully awful thing. As someone who can't focus on one storyline for more than three days, being forced to cram out this amount of work seemed like the perfect solution. Give myself a goal where I have to dedicate myself to one line for 30 straight days. Obsess over it for 30 days because I literally don't have the time to think about other things. I even made a spreadsheet, my go-to self-pressurizing tool. To set myself up to succeed, even more, this is my first year where I'm attempting to work on something I see as only being one book. After three years of trying to force myself to write the same book (1 of 3), I've given up on something that large and chosen a line that fits perfectly as 1 novel. So I could do those 30 days and actually come out with a product. Actually. finish. something. 

Ah.ston.i.shing. 

However, in order to balance work, life, and writing I would have to give up everything else. I told myself to give up blogging, making corresponding images, making new art, editing pictures, working on the bookshelf, or creating anything else new until December 1st. But blogging doesn't work like that. I need to say something. It's just a slippery slope. Each blog needs an image, I have photos that need editing, and there I fall into the trap of plus this.. and this...and this, and well I can probably fit this in too...and it's midnight with no words written. 

My current attempt at self-control is tiny blogs, poor images, and get back to writing with gusto.