I actually got close to my word count goal for the month. This past month, I wrote over 9600 words. If I had made it to 10,000, which is the monthly goal, it would have been the first time I actually hit that goal in the past two years.

However, I did slump off a bit. Part of the problem was momentum. Things came up last week and my mind wasn’t so preoccupied with writing. But the other part was my flickering focus. For several days I wrote feverishly, trying to get a story out as quickly as possible. I knew, from prior experience, that I only had a few days before I would mentally grow tired of that storyline and move on.

Since I had committed to writing short stories, these random ideas felt like they could turn into something. Instead of just thinking about a different storyline every week or so and letting them float away, I could do something with them and turn them into short stories. If they’re short enough, they could actually be created within my short attention span. That hope that it wasn’t just a mental “waste of time”, gave me the drive to start writing.

For a while, it worked and I didn’t hate myself for switching topics a few times. However, after a few days, I realized the short story, that I had tried so hard to push out, was no longer in my mind. I didn’t feel like thinking about it anymore. And now I have a 75% completed first draft of a short story.

Note that this is also just a first draft. So, not only do I need the storyline to make its way back into my head, but I also need to find the will to edit the story several times. Then find places to submit it. Because my poor submission tracker really needs more than 1 rejected submission.

After all this, I’m still not sure where to continue. Do I just keep writing whatever and hope I mentally come back to it, or force myself to?

I also toyed with the thought of signing up for a premium porn membership with Bellesa. The membership comes with, of course, porn, but also education stuff, therapy of some sort, discounts to their store, and fiction. So, you know, 'research'. I don’t exclusively want to write erotica or even romance but everyone has to start somewhere and why not give more support to a women-led business I love. I haven't done it yet because I thought if I did, my productivity would go way down...

Also, side note and shoutout, because I named a previous blog “Open Letter to Bellesa and Sluts and Scholars”, I get hits from people Googling the porn site.

This week's photo: I realized I was using random photos from that week with no context. This week is from my tidying-up purge of my books. I am getting rid of a lot of my romance novels. They still delight me in that cheesy nice ending way, and I still love the horrible titles and cover art, but I don't need so many of them.